[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

[rcwraspy]

Khaos: Some friends from the boston area are headed over for GP Vegas. I can ask if they have room for 1 more in the hotel if you want.

[Kaitscralt]

how can you not see the appeal of a pre release? even if you hate sealed the appeal is so obvious

[Kaitscralt]

it's dumb comments like these that make me blood red mad

[hamfactorial]

h8chabro

[hamfactorial]

With Spam gone, we got to crack page 1337 again. Bless him!

[RedNihilist]

I want to be on page 1337!

[rcwraspy]

yeah so I was wondering about that. Whose posts got deleted? Spam's?

[hamfactorial]

Yeah, he flamed out Alex style and took his posts with him.

[rcwraspy]

that's really weird.

[Self Medicated]

WTF? Crazy shit man.

[rcwraspy]

it always baffles me how some people take an internet community so seriously.

[hamfactorial]

I'm sure he'd want us to know that his jimmies remain unrustled.

[Jamie]

Why would you delete all of your posts? Why does the forum software allow that? I hate this brave new world.

[rcwraspy]

you mean this pussified ego-driven entitlement society new world?

[rcwraspy]

that's right. even this Boston liberal can make Conservative hick comments. Bring it, Redthirst.

[Thrillho]

Why would you delete all of your posts? Why does the forum software allow that? I hate this brave new world.

he had admin powers for reasons that are only clear to me in the fact that he used to do gimmick wrangling on mtgs

[Thrillho]

you mean this pussified ego-driven entitlement society new world?

you make spam's ghost proud.

[Thrillho]

however, it's now open season on 9/11 jokes.

[Stardust]

Why would you delete all of your posts? Why does the forum software allow that? I hate this brave new world.

he had admin powers for reasons that are only clear to me in the fact that he used to do gimmick wrangling on mtgs

Gotta make sure Harkius doesn't come back.

[Stardust]

But yeah, I'm sure he deleted his posts ironically.

[Stardust]

Why'd he leave anyway? I'm guessing kpaca finally pushed him too far?

[zemanjaski]

By all means have your fun guys, youre entitled to it. I'm sure if roles were reverses id act the same. For me though I've been awfully depressed the last few days and I'm not in a position to cope with it. Instead of getting better I'm getting worse and I'm scared.

If you want to be in contact, those of you who've reached out before know how to. I'm a little surprised how horrible some of the long time FOS players are, but I guess you can't expect much better.

Finally, please don't just make shit up and post it to drive traffic to the site; I have to live with the consequences of what I've done (which the full extent if which aren't known) but I'm still, beyond all of this a person who has to try and go on living.

Thanks.

[Stardust]

Good luck, Z. You're in a shitty situation, and though you're the only one responsible for it, I hope you come out alright.

... You probably won't read this, but there you go.

[Khaospawn]

Khaos: Some friends from the boston area are headed over for GP Vegas. I can ask if they have room for 1 more in the hotel if you want.

I'll keep that in mind.

[Jamie]

People made shit up to get site traffic?

[Jamie]

Spam deleted his posts?

[Thrillho]

Why would you delete all of your posts? Why does the forum software allow that? I hate this brave new world.

he had admin powers for reasons that are only clear to me in the fact that he used to do gimmick wrangling on mtgs

Gotta make sure Harkius doesn't come back.

don't look for spam's account.

[RedNihilist]

Well, that was unexpected.

[hamfactorial]

People made shit up to get site traffic?

I haven't seen anything like this, unless Z thinks Kait was being literal about handing him Elementals under the table.

[Khaospawn]

By all means have your fun guys, youre entitled to it. I'm sure if roles were reverses id act the same. For me though I've been awfully depressed the last few days and I'm not in a position to cope with it. Instead of getting better I'm getting worse and I'm scared.

If you want to be in contact, those of you who've reached out before know how to. I'm a little surprised how horrible some of the long time FOS players are, but I guess you can't expect much better.

Finally, please don't just make shit up and post it to drive traffic to the site; I have to live with the consequences of what I've done (which the full extent if which aren't known) but I'm still, beyond all of this a person who has to try and go on living.

Thanks.

James, you're my friend, first and foremost. Know that this is truth.

With that said, I know I don't have to mention the gravity of the situation. Whatever your reasons are for doing what you've done are irrelevant. You messed up, and I feel betrayed. I do. I'm saddened by the whole thing, but the worst part is living in the reality that you did the one thing that I could never expect you to do. I'm sure you feel horrible, and I feel for you. But you were high profile enough that you influenced a slew of Magic players during the last year. I made so many friends in the field because YOU were the common bonding point. I could talk about you, your skills, DtR, and how I was looking forward to your next performance at your next event. I was fucking rooting for you at ALL times.

And you let me and everyone else down. And this wasn't some in-game blunder. You made a choice and it was the worst one. It's fucking terrible.

I'm angry. I'm sad. I had to play in a GPT on Sunday and YOU were the main topic in between rounds. I wanted to defend you. I DID defend you. But at the same time, I felt like a phony defending you.

In case you haven't noticed, I usually cope with things through humor. I abhor typing out depressing posts (even when I actually am depressed) and I try to substitute negative feeling with things that will make whoever I'm conversing with laugh. Even if it's at my expense sometimes.

And with that said, I don't apologize for anything I've said. I'd say it all to your face. I'm trying to make sense of all this. There IS some humor to be found in it all, whether you care to admit it now or years down the road.

I don't want to speak for anybody else, but I'm sure they're all processing it in their own ways too. In fact, I know they are. But none of this is out of malice. It's how we do things here. Deal with it.

We are all still your friend. Like you, we're dealing with aftermath of last Sunday. We joke, we move on, and we're still here for you. It probably hurts us more than most because we've known you for so long, have worked with you, and have experienced your success (sorta) with you. We know you damn better than those people on Reddit.

I don't want to beat you up anymore over your decision, You know it was wrong. We all know it was wrong. I'm still your friend and I know you're torn up about it. Your remorse is genuine and nobody can argue that. Do what you have to do to get over it, heal up, figure out where you stand, and what you want to do. I'm telling you now that I'm here for you if you need me and you have several ways to reach me. But I'm assuming you that you probably want time for yourself to ponder things. At least, that's what I would do.

And don't take my jabs seriously. FFS, we're on DTR. I helped make umpteenth jokes about stupid shit like Siege Rhino.

[Thrillho]

By all means have your fun guys, youre entitled to it. I'm sure if roles were reverses id act the same. For me though I've been awfully depressed the last few days and I'm not in a position to cope with it. Instead of getting better I'm getting worse and I'm scared.

If you want to be in contact, those of you who've reached out before know how to. I'm a little surprised how horrible some of the long time FOS players are, but I guess you can't expect much better.

Finally, please don't just make shit up and post it to drive traffic to the site; I have to live with the consequences of what I've done (which the full extent if which aren't known) but I'm still, beyond all of this a person who has to try and go on living.

Thanks.

I know the big picture of things is currently in small pieces all over the floor (in your lap was an obvious joke which I'm not joking in this post but I want you to know the thought was there).

You will pick yourself up and you will do... something. I don't know what that thing is. You don't know what that thing is because this all just happened. But I will say this because I mean it and because I've had all of the shit in my life break and became very sad about it: have fun. Learn to laugh at yourself. Learn to laugh at your mistakes. Make your own fun. Do not dwell on the past, because the past is a bridge that you need to get over. You had a life before CFB and before carrying the weight of Australia's Magic scene on your back. You had a life before Magic (probably, and maybe it was something you wouldn't deign to call a life now).

Whatever the case may be, you had fun before and without these things, and in excess of these things. Have fun. Have fun with yourself. I mean that both as a euphemism and in the sense that you make your own fun.

The sun rose today. It will rise again tomorrow. It will keep doing this regardless of what you do.

Magic cards will still be there when you get back.

[Khaospawn]

Thrillho, I don't know what you just said, but it hit me right here. *pounds chest*

[zemanjaski]

"But you were high profile enough that you influenced a slew of Magic players during the last year. I made so many friends in the field because YOU were the common bonding point. I could talk about you, your skills, DtR, and how I was looking forward to your next performance at your next event. I was fucking rooting for you at ALL times. "

I couldn't cope with this at all.

Thanks Thrillo, that made me smile a little.

[Thrillho]

Yeah but don't make me make you smile you make you smile oh god I'm referencing anime please someone kill me immediately.

[Khaospawn]

You couldn't cope? Really? It's the fucking truth.

You have NO idea how many people you influenced with Standard Boros Burn. Seriously.

[Khaospawn]

But I still love you, bro. I do.

[zemanjaski]

Everyone expecting something from you at all times, unrealistic things, was too much for me. Instead of stepping back it getting help, I failed everyone.

[Jamie]

How could you step back from such a situation? Did the thought of stepping back even enter your mind?

[zemanjaski]

Not really no. I did speak to some friends about it and they encouraged me to skip a few events and catch up on sleep. My life for six to eight months was full time work (45-55 hours) then play mtg for 4-5 hours a weeknight plus all weekend; I wanted to be the best and I made so many sacrifices along the way.

The game hasn't been enjoyable for a very, very long time. Hopefully when I come back and I can enjoy it a bit.

[Khaospawn]

I can't say that I profess to know what you're talking about. I can't. I have an idea, but I literally have NO clue what is must be like to walk in your shoes.

Not to name drop, but I had to ask Brad, Gerry, and Todd (yes, the SCG guys) what is must be like to have the whole Magic world have this great expectation that the world has on you based entirely on articles and MTG performances. Do you live up to it? Do you indulge in it? They had some things to say, but at the end of the day, they're really just people like us. FoSers, even.

I don't know. I base this all on being some random popular person at a fucking MTG event because I look like a fictitious TV character now (thanks, beard!). I literally attracted all sorts of crazy people during the first few rounds of Regionals and GP:Miami (bless their hearts...that's a southern saying, btw) and then when I was winning a lot, I felt like I had to keep that up. And then I afterwards I felt like I had to live up to some weird expectations. It was fucking crazy. I had to ask the SCG guys, since they were being mobbed like I was.

I can only imagine that this was exponentially multiplied. Especially since you live in Australia. But I digress.

It's certainly some pressure.