[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

[zemanjaski]

One of the girls at work googled me and now thinks I'm a wizard.

[TBuzzsaw]

Free advice. Aggressively trade for Prophetic Flamespeaker.

Really? I could have sworn you disliked the card.

[zemanjaski]

Been testing for the PT. Card plays much better than I thought. Pretty much game over if it ever connects twice (draw 2-4 cards).

[TBuzzsaw]

I know you won't be revealing anything here, but I'm curious on how the new build with it looks.

[Valdarith]

One of the girls at work googled me and now thinks I'm a wizard.

Wait...you're NOT a wizard?!?!

Dreamcrushed.

[LP, of the Fires]

I know you won't be revealing anything here, but I'm curious on how the new build with it looks.

Well, He's testing for a Block Pro Tour so the decks will look different than anything you'd want to play in standard.

As far as standard goes, I could see a couple different shells you'd want him in:

A) BTE based agro would be where I'd start. You'd already have rubbelbelt makka as a valuable pump spell for game ending burst damage, BTE lets you recover tempo against opposing agro decks on the draw, and the curve will be low increasing your odds of being able to cast the cards you potentially draw.

B) Big Red style decks. IDK what it would look like, but I could imagine a boros midrange build with speaker and Chandra as your CA engines.
This is also the deck most likely to want a value 3-drop.

C) Burn sideboard card. Opponent boards out all removal, you bring in this. Oops, I win. GG brah.

[magicdownunder]

Interesting, I cards I figured I want to crack open or trade for would be Eidolon of the Great Revel, Mana Confluence, Temple of Epiphany and Temple of Malady.

I would like to avoid any possible price spikes if Prophetic Flamespeaker ends up being awesome, I don't want to experience another Past in Flames or Mox Opal situation - but I doubt Flamespeakers will reach that level.

[hamfactorial]

You're a wizard, Zemmy!

[Valdarith]

I know you won't be revealing anything here, but I'm curious on how the new build with it looks.

Well, He's testing for a Block Pro Tour so the decks will look different than anything you'd want to play in standard.

As far as standard goes, I could see a couple different shells you'd want him in:

A) BTE based agro would be where I'd start. You'd already have rubbelbelt makka as a valuable pump spell for game ending burst damage, BTE lets you recover tempo against opposing agro decks on the draw, and the curve will be low increasing your odds of being able to cast the
cards you potentially draw.

B) Big Red style decks. IDK what it would look like, but I could imagine a boros midrange build with speaker and Chandra as your CA engines. This is also the deck most likely to want a value 3-drop.

C) Burn sideboard card. Opponent boards out all removal, you bring in this. Oops, I win. GG brah.

If we know anything about Zem, it's that he loves his Big Red decks, and with Flamespeaker Eidolon, Dragon Mantle, and Firedrinker Satyr all being pretty good cards for Block Constructed, I think we can draw some conclusions on what he's running for that format.

I agree with your assessment of his current use in Standard. I think a BTE mono red aggro deck would be a good fit for him.

[LP, of the Fires]

I know zero about block constructed except Elspeth>the format.

[zemanjaski]

Pretty much.

[LP, of the Fires]

I did a brief view of some Block dailies and I see UB control splash Elspeth is a deck so I'd assume z'd just play that.

[hamfactorial]

Decklist:

4 Elspeth
56 Lolzlz who cares

Sideboard:
15 Islands

[Valdarith]

I did a brief view of some Block dailies and I see UB control splash Elspeth is a deck so I'd assume z'd just play that.

About 80% of the format is XX splash Elspeth.

[zemanjaski]

I did a brief view of some Block dailies and I see UB control splash Elspeth is a deck so I'd assume z'd just play that.

It went something like this:

"Your mission James, should you choose to accept it, is to build the best Mono Red Block Constructed deck for the test gauntlet"

But instead of the dated Mission Impossible music, we're using this: http://youtu.be/yM5NyH6WVnw

[Kazekirimaru]

This song works.

[zemanjaski]

I pushed for Summmertime Sadness tbh.

[magicdownunder]

Do we have any rules about posting SCG premium content? I want to post Patrick Chapin's Black Aggro deck, which I think its adorable with its 4x Brain Maggots and 4x Thoughtseize MD.

[Khaospawn]

Rules? Fuck rules. We're a bunch of pirates, mate!

[jsilv]

Do we have any rules about posting SCG premium content? I want to post Patrick Chapin's Black Aggro deck, which I think its adorable with its 4x Brain Maggots and 4x Thoughtseize MD.

decks are fair game, entire articles are a no-no

[jsilv]

re: cardboard crack, it actually could be ok to funny if the author would stop using the 4 panel format and stop over explaining the fucking joke. Like the mindslaver one is close to reasonable if we cut a panel. Here's an easy one.

here's the original: http://cardboard-crack.com/post/82957809029/worst-fears

here's one without explaining the joke twice.



Final panel still has too many words, but at least it's less awful. It could probably be just the China statement and it'd work fine.

[magicdownunder]

I can't believe I haven't read cardboard crack until now...

[Kaitscralt]

it's the worst shit in the history of shit

[Khaospawn]

It's not as bad as Family Circus.

[Khaospawn]

Or Marmadyke.

[Khaospawn]

Holy shit. Can I even blame that on autocorrect?

[Kaitscralt]

I would say it is. Bad punchlines are still better than no punchlines. Cardboard Crack is clearly written by someone lacking a comedic mind.

[Khaospawn]

It needs more dick and fart jokes.

[Kaitscralt]

To please FoS, yes, however most disappointed readers would be fine with anything resembling funny

[Dechs Kaison]

It needs to not explain its own jokes.

[Dechs Kaison]

Holy shit. Because the ax wasn't good enough, we made a better one:

http://www.geek.com/news/physics-exploi ... e-1591725/

It's like there's loopholes in physics.

[lorddax]

So what did I miss while pretending to be an adult and be all "business"y?

Kait make anyone cry? Thirst splitting someone open? Ham finding the equation for antilife? Z setting fire to a wombat? Khaos unleashing the power of the apple? Val and MDU dueling in the pacific? LP and Dechs releasing the eras quintessential spoken word album? Tbuzz evolving Kaze into a 50ft supermackrel? Anything good?

[Dechs Kaison]

Working on a new story. This is the intro. Tell me how much it sucks.

---

"Don't move!" The gruff shout came from a short, broad man with no neck. The night was not too dark to make out his brown and red uniform, name tag and badge, or the assortment of weapons hanging from his belt. His shirt appeared to be a size smaller than it should, seams stretched tight by bulging muscle. As he stepped out of the passenger seat of the matching brown and red truck, its suspension recovered at least two inches.

"Think you could skirt around the Old Manhattan checkpoints?" The driver of the vehicle hopped out and spoke now. This man was taller and thinner than his partner, but likewise uniformed. He spun a small, hood mounted flood light towards the shore.

The bright cone illuminated the crouched figure of a man by the edge of the water. Obeying the command, the man stayed motionless except
for the slow rhythm of heavy breathing. Glimmering in the light, droplets clung to his black cape that draped to the sand, hiding all but the dark red metal helmet. He wondered how his approach could have been spotted on such a dark evening. Most likely, it was just the dumb luck of a passing patrol. Regardless, he was glad he added an hour into his travel calculations for speed bumps like this. The man offered an explanation, his voice even and somehow polite, despite coming through a distortion device, "Quite the contrary, I've been here for weeks, just returned from a leisurely swim."

"Relax, pal. We don't need a story." The tall one spoke this time as he produced a tablet computer. "This happens more often than you'd think. Just give us a name. We'll register your visit and you'll be free to go."

To properly address the inquiry, the man rose to his feet. As he did so, the cape parted, revealing metal plates that armored his body. Most of them were
flat black, dimly reflecting the flood lamp, while those on his side matched the shade of his helmet. At a height well past six feet, his posture was impeccable, neither hostile nor yielding. With a slight bow that did not lower his eyes, he replied, "I prefer the name Deathgrind."

The tall one only snickered as he entered the name into his tablet; the short one was hardly so gracious. Snorting, he prodded, "Lemmie guess, all the good ones was taken?"

"This coming from a pair of freaks working for a company named Brutes for Hire." A dismissive tone was apparent through the distortion; the retort was followed by an indignant scoff.

Growling, the short brute took a menacing step forward, poised like a bull about to charge. His shirt looked about to burst as he brought his hands together to crack his knuckles. Deathgrind remained still, not even adjusting his footing. The lack of reaction only spurred further fury. Tension grew. Through clenched teeth the brute threatened,
"I could crush you an' your suit like a can of beer."

"System says he's a strength mutant. Can't be stronger than you, Flint." The words came from his tall partner, "Just take 'im. There's a decent bounty on this punk."

Flint's clenched teeth twisted into a grin at the mention of the bounty. Excited, he vaulted forward, spraying sand back at his partner. He was airborne the entire distance to Deathgrind, his enormous arm chambered. The punch came at a blinding speed, fueled by the jump, but it missed the target. As fast as the combined motion was, Deathgrind was faster. Not just in reaction time, but the movement itself was fluid to an extreme degree considering the armor which should restrict his movement. When Flint landed, he found Deathgrind standing to his right with a hand gripping the inside of his elbow.

The next strike came from Deathgrind, driving his metal fist into the captive elbow. The joint shattered with a sickening crack that
rang over the scream of pain. Deathgrind then pulled on that arm as he crashed his heel into Flint's knee. This impact caused a sound similar to the last, although there was no accompanying scream. Instead, Flint crumpled with no more than a whimper. Not yet finished, Deathgrind maintained his grip on the elbow, tightening and twisting with every word he spoke, "One. My metal is far stronger than a can of beer. Two. Canned beer? Have some class. And three. I. Like. My. Name."

Releasing the broken man, Deathgrind turned to the remaining brute. A heavy caliber pistol boomed once; Deathgrind found himself looking at the sky as his head snapped backwards from the force of the bullet. Two more shots were fired, both ricocheting off the same metal plate of his chest. With these, he took a step backwards before righting himself. Rolling his neck and shoulders, he asserted, "Excellent aim. You must be an aptitude type. Only a class four, of course, else you'd have a better employer. Now,
you could fire again, but the worst it would do is crack my visor. Or you could reach for your stun gun and hope that I'm not insulated. Either of those options ends with me fairly angry and you fairly dead. Collect your partner and get out of my way."

Without any further interference, Deathgrind walked past his former assailant and stepped into his new truck, quite happy the gentleman had left it running for him.

[lorddax]

It sucks so much that I need to read more of it to tell you how bad. I saw that entire scene play out and it was brutally awesome. Characterization seems to be good so far, makes me want to know more about your main character and who he is.

[Alex]

Do we have any rules about posting SCG premium content? I want to post Patrick Chapin's Black Aggro deck, which I think its adorable with its 4x Brain Maggots and 4x Thoughtseize MD.

Just don't post them in a public area. Clan forum should be fine. You can also PM it to someone and that's fine. SCG's ToS only protects them from public disclosure.

[Kazekirimaru]

Chose black for the prerelease tomorrow

[Valdarith]

Kaze, what does the scouter say about your post count?

[Kazekirimaru]

IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik

Thanks for the setup, Val. To think I'd have let that slip by.

[LP, of the Fires]

Might choose black, if I don't it'll be red cause fuck it.

[GoblinWarchief]

Shit , i have a fever and tomorrow i can't go to the prerelease. I'll just save money and acquire the cards i need, that probably is just better