I just went 0-2 drop at fnm, completely scrubbed out.
I'm just sorta out of it, both physically and mentally. Hell, I even forgot to wear the narwhal hat at all, and I had it with me.
I feel terrible right now... I'm honestly thinking about dropping magic for a long time, cause I'm just not having fun right now for some reason... Maybe just focus on casual formats for a while... i don't know.
I feel like scrumper...
Let me give you some advice, because I've been there. Christ knows, I'm there now. This is going to be a novel, so brace yourself.
The first time I hit a wall like the one you're describing, I sold all my cards, took a huge loss and rage quit. I started playing 40k which was a creative and competitive
outlet, so I was satisfied. My buddy got into it too, and it was fun for a while. Unfortunately, I was the only "spike" and I crushed my friends everytime, and I completely poisoned the environment with my competitiveness. Eventually none of us wanted to play anymore. Seeing as I had 10,000 points worth of Dark Angels, that was another financial blow.
Then my best friend's dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His dad was the one that taught us to play magic, and most of my pleasant memories from high school (that aren't girl or car related) are playing magic at his kitchen table. He was also a notorious tilter who would bend your cards when reading them (a fifty year old man) if he didn't like what they did, but that's another story. He didn't have long, so I talked to my other buddy (not the one whose dad was dying) and we decided that we would start playing magic again so our friend wouldn't have to choose between spending time with him dad and us. Eventually, my friend (whose dad
was dying) confided that he needed some time away from the situation to escape, so we started going to FNM.
I graduated from university, and couldn't find work, so I took a job in the UK. Long story short, it didn't work out, but I played magic there too, at the only place in London, The Games Club. There I was consistently in last place with 0-4 draft decks every week, because I was playing with GB's national team. There were so many levels ahead of me I couldn't possibly compete. I read articles and could eventually identify which cards were the best in the set (Zendikar) etc. but they still pushed me into UG and roflstomped me every week. I got very frustrated, but I kept going until I decided to leave the UK. I didn't realize it at the time, but I did learn a lot by losing. Unfortunately my friend's dad passed away while I was in the UK.
When I got back, my buddy wanted to pick up where we left off, and I like to think it helped take his mind off his dad's passing. We had leveled up. We
were winning FNMs and Saturday tournaments. I top 4'd a 200 player tournament for a Mox with R/b Aggro. Those were good times. Unfortunately I still couldn't find a job, my girlfriend left me and my parents kicked me out of the house because they mistook my inability to find work with an unwillingness to work. I found a company in Japan that was willing to hire me, and I was living in Japan a month later.
I brought my Magic cards with me, and my first weekend here, my priority was to find places that sold magic and places to play. Unfortunately for my first three months in Japan I couldn't find a place to play and had no friends. I literally just worked, slept and wasted time on the internet. I kept up with magic (ordering cards and having them sent to me) for Worldwake Standard, but then I realized it was dumb, since I have noone to play with. When I went home at Christmas, I took my cards with me, put them in a box in the closet, and left them there.
Fast Forward two years, and I moved to a
bigger city. I found friends that played magic, and stores that sold magic and had places to play. I threw together a budget deck and started playing standard again. The next time I went home I opened the dusty box of cards and found that many of my cards (Fetches, Goyfs, Thoughtseizes, Mystics etc.) had more than doubled in price. I sold the cards I didn't think I wanted to play with anymore and updated my decks and payed for my flight with the change.
That is when I really became competitive. I started playing a lot, playing in bigger events and my first GP. I hit a wall in the form of a falling out with a couple of forum members and quit the forum until I won a GPT and came back to share my list and experience because I thought it might help other people. But around the time of Dragon's maze standard, I hit another wall. It lasted all of DGM and M14 standard. I couldn't win a single game. I felt frustrated and ready to rage quit, but I kept with it. I was very disappointed with my result at my
second GP, because it wasn't an improvement over my record at my first GP in spite of testing for 8 hours every night for a month beforehand.
Theros came out, and the set was very kind to me. I found my groove again and started winning quite a bit ( I also had a great mentor / collaborator in the form of MDU,
ya bro, no homo) . I did very well in my third GP, then won a local open with an undefeated record. Then another wall. I've been in a slump since then where I just can't seem to do anything right. I entered a PTQ where I got all my bad matchups and scrubbed out, and my friend who is the worst player in our group got every good matchup he could hope for and won the invite. I felt frustrated. I still feel frustrated, but I'm not going to give up.
The point of my magic life story here is to illustrate a point.
When you hit a wall, you have three options.
1) Ragequit. Sell your cards and do
something else. If you're anything like me, you'll probably still come back to it some day and regret it (I sold my entire collection which would be worth close to $5000 for $600 on eBay
)
2) Box your cards and take a break. They'll collect dust, but they'll be there when you're ready to get back on the horse. I think this is useful sometimes, especially if you just take a week or two off. That's how long it usually takes me to remember this is something I love doing.
3) Hulk-Out. Use your frustration. The first time I really hit a wall since I became seriously competitive was when I had my falling out with the forum and quit. I felt like Vegeta in Dragonball Z..
Here, for reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW7_fr3_yDE
I started rage grinding, just because I wanted to prove myself worthy of the other members of FoS. I played and played, and played.
When I would lose, I would just play the person again until I beat them. I wouldn't go to bed unless I had just won a match. Using that negative energy allowed me to smash the wall to rubble. The same thing happened to me that happened to Vegeta in that clip. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care what my friends, or the forum thought of me. I was just going to sit down confidently, play my deck and grind out wins. If I didn't win, I would ask to play another game for fun between rounds. But it wasn't about fun, it was about using what I had learned from the first game to beat my opponent in subsequent games. All I cared about was being the best I could be. I didn't care where that placed me in comparison to others. That was when I won the GPT, and came back to FoS with my head held high. I finally had something worth contributing, and I had demonstrated my commitment to getting better. I felt vindicated.
Now however, I'm back to the training room. I'm trying to push myself to find that next level,
and I'm getting frustrated. I'm trying to find that "I don't care anymore" attitude again, desperately. These things come in waves. We all have good days and bad days, cold streaks and hot streaks. You have to learn to just focus on you. God knows, I struggle with it, but that's where we need to be.
I see a lot of potential in you Raida. To quote a flavour text;
"You're just like me: ruthless, cunning, and ambitious. Obviously you're a threat."
I hope you won't choose option one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BIjCW2_Uik
.