Dies to Removal

Should have fading, for when the liquor sets in.

Liquor only makes me stronger.


Or maybe the fading happens when I *gasp* run out.

Done.

Fading of 3 seems fair.

Or Fading 2 because it reminds me of Keldon Marauders.

On the MTG embodiment of thirst's crank:

I imagine that it's something like the bastard son of Marit Lage and Armada Wurm.

Redthirst's Member - RRRRRRRR
Legendary Creature - Wurm Ninja
Protection from All Colors, Haste, Trample

When Redthirst's Member enters the battlefield, if your opponent has an open orifice, you win the game.

10/10

Impossible.

redthirst never uses protection.

I'm unimaginative. Someone make a card of me instead.

Mon's Goblin Raiders is already a card.

Yarpus, the Mad Scholar
Creature - Human
Haste
(tap): Discard a card, then draw a card.
2/1

Mon's Goblin Raiders is already a card.

Tubehunter, Corruption Slayer
Legendary Angel Warrior
RW(R/W)
Flying, Haste

Black creatures cannot attack unless their controller pays 2 for each attacking creature.
3/3

Yarpus, Beuno.
Tube, shame.

I'm unimaginative. Someone make a card of me instead.

Kazekirimaru
Legendary Creature - Goblin Advisor
2/2
[mana]1R[/mana]

Haste
Tap: Target creature must attack this turn if able

Yarpus, Beuno.
Tube, shame.

make me a better one then

I dont want to offend you.

im not that thin skinned

take your best shot

I just spend almost 3 hours working on that first part of the EDH primer. Wow.

DroppinKnowlege

TubeTopther 0
Creature - Angel
Flying
0/2

Well dude, you're at least Legacy-playable now.

And I'd also do this card.

Fires of Salvation XRR
Sorcery

Fires of Salvation deals twice the X damage to target creaure or player.

Deserves Mythic Rare spot yo.

If he has 0 power, doesn't that mean he can't stop the corruption plaguing these boards?

Yarpus, Beuno.
Tube, shame.

make me a better one then

TubeHunter, the Untouchable - 4/1 Legendary Human Soldier - [mana]2RR[/mana]

If you control a creature named Father of Tubes, prevent all damage that would be dealt to TubeHunter.

Do you know who my father is?

My card needs to have protection from Soldiers then.

And of course there is no Father of Tubes card.

The laughs, they are many tonight

Yarpus, the Mad Scholar
Creature - Human
Haste
(tap): Discard a card at random, then draw a card.
2/1

I changed the card a bit to make it less broken (hey, compare it to fucking Mad Prophet) and to make it my tribute to Tibalt.

I dropped my last two matches. One match involved a topdeck Nimbus Naiad for the win when I had lethal next turn and had already cast Artisan's Sorrow on another Nimbus Naiad two turns earlier. Second game he did it again for the win! Last match I was against a deck with two Baleful Eidolon, two Keepsake Gorgon, Prognostic Sphinx, Disciple of Phenax, Gray Merchant of Asphodel...yeah I lost.

I didnt drop games due to misplays. I felt I played very strong and overall am happy with my performance. It was a good experience.

My card needs to have protection from Soldiers then.

Trying to corrupt the system eh?

I've told you not to cross me.

I will tear your other ACL, son.

Yarpus, why did you make your card awful? I think this is more like you.

Yarpus the Mad - 2/1 Legendary Elf Wizard - [mana]RR[/mana]

: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you may put a hate counter on Yarpus. Then each opponent discards a card at random for each hate counter on Yarpus.

I will tear your other ACL, son.

I'd like to see you try.

RCWRaspy - R
Creature - Goblin Shaman
Haste
When RCWRaspy enters the battlefield, add R to your mana pool.
2/1

Should have fading, for when the liquor sets in.

I'm there right now. Now on to the "Girl Scout Cookies". That is an actual name for a strain of super powerful weed. If Alex were around, I'd tell him it's "Hella" good.

Nerdboywonder - RR
Legendary Creature - Goblin Artist
Haste
When Nerdboywonder enters the battlefield create a token of target non-land permanent. Sacrifice the token at the end of turn. Return Nerdboywonder to your hand at the end of turn.
2/1

I just spend almost 3 hours working on that first part of the EDH primer. Wow.

If the grammar here is any indication, I'm going to spend a lot longer than that editing it once you're done.

Valdarith, Leader of the Battalion
RRW
Flash, haste

When Valdarith enters the battlefield, creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain first strike until end of turn.

2/3

Ooh ooh I want a card!