Blatherdome 4: My Resignation

[Second Harkius]

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[( G_R )]

Hi GR,

Your activity in the Speakeasy for the last couple months has been an ongoing problem, and from what we can discern, it's intentionally attempting to push or toe the line for trolling and the rules with a goal of causing problems. This behaviour has become increasingly toxic. Should it continue, you should be aware that you will be masked out of the Speakeasy. This is in accordance with the Speakeasy rules and the sitewide policy on access masks.

Sincerely,
:ER:

I guess from now on I should only post gay shit like hug smileys.

[Kaitscralt]

Whatever you do, don't say No

[Col. Khaddafi]

Post this as a flower of truce:

SO yeah I like anime

The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed
with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

nA familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a
matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and
more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I
could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered
another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like anime.

[Pendulum]

Oh, this is such a deviation from the rockin' Jimmy Buffet discussion goin' on earlier.

[Pendulum]

The thing about Buffet is every barfly ever can get behind singin' Buffet at karaoke.

[Col. Khaddafi]

You can always count on iridium for bringing the discussion back on-topic

[Pendulum]

You can always count on iridium for bringing the discussion back on-topic

You can always count on Ben to do the worst possible thing. Idiots gotta idio, I suppose.

[Col. Khaddafi]

I mean its the lapdog, he's a nobody, he thinks moderating MTGS is something that should go prominently on his resumé, he will make the "automated answer machine" strongly worded PM's because he has no further social skills, why are you surprised?

At least the chump is cute with his "hey I can be bad cop too, loooook at me!", they are all a very swell bunch.

[Yannaria]

he waterboards with a teddy bear

[Pendulum]

I mean its the lapdog, he's a nobody, he thinks moderating MTGS is something that should go prominently on his resumé, he will make the "automated answer machine" strongly worded PM's because he has no further social skills, why are you surprised?

At least the chump is cute with his "hey I can be bad cop too, loooook at me!", they are all a very swell bunch.

It's not so much the action as the repetition that surprises me. Boggles my mind a bit that he can keep reacting so badly but doesn't learn how to learn, how to accept that change is okay.

[Pendulum]

The heart and soul of delusion is being delusional about your delusions instead of being delusional about reality.

[Pendulum]

I mean, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance starts with the question of what is good, is it so hard to pick up a fucking book?

[Pendulum]

Also I keep meaning to report his LinkedIn profile as he has himself marked down as an administrator for the whole of his moderation career but I'm just that lazy.

[Pendulum]

eBay fridge logic, after all. Doesn't matter how much you put the item up for, there will always be some rich idiot willing to fall for it.

[Pendulum]

By the way I should let all of you know my responses are weird today because there's a yoga class going on about 10 feet away from me (3.2 metres for those of you outside Murica). God bless whatever weird thing it is that makes women not want to wear bras while they're stretching.

[Thrillho]

I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier... I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

[Thrillho]

The anime reality.

[Thrillho]

horse laughter.

[Thrillho]

maybe that guy can help me move next week.

[Thrillho]

we won't have any spare keys so we don't have to worry about him appearing under our bed and sucking our apartment into a parallel anime reality.

[Thrillho]

damn, dropped my dorites.

[Second Harkius]

The heart and soul of delusion is being delusional about your delusions instead of being delusional about reality.

Mellow is the man who knows what he's been missing.

[Thrillho]

also i have found the portal to the anime reality is to register for pixiv.

[Thrillho]

why wade through tumblr tags and random posts on various chan-based message boards when with google translate and gumption you can just go to the source material.

[Thrillho]

the anime reality source material.

[Thrillho]

now you can tell everyone you can draw nurutu, too.

[Thrillho]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gft1P53zR60

[Thrillho]

a really weird clown suit... anime clown suit.

[Thrillho]

and there's just dozens of these.

[Thrillho]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjJb6DMlJ1Y

[Pendulum]

lol

[Pendulum]

[Thrillho]

yuck this new duel deck is some hot garbage.

[Second Harkius]

yuck this new duel deck is some hot garbage.

you'll only buy 5

[Thrillho]

why would i buy any copies of garbage if it isn't also worth money.

[Thrillho]

it's like two bad wacky draft decks that someone pulled a sun titan in.

[Thrillho]

MSRP $19.99
Sun Titan Median: $3.50
Beast Within Median: $1.70
Conquering Manticore Median: $0.29
Troll Ascetic Median: $1.39
Skarrgan Firebird Median: $0.31
Deus of Calamity Median: $3.81
Crater Hellion Median: $1.00
Winds of Rath Median: $3.84
Nobilis of War Median: $1.66
Kamhal, Pit Fighter Median: $0.78
Figure of Destiny Median: $5.35

[Thrillho]

if you add that all up, it's around $23.

[Thrillho]

so what i'm trying to say is buy 10